She's a writer, an author, she's a young Ian analyst and she has a private practice in Philadelphia, and she loves to talk about fairytales and dream states. And I'm really excited because I'm all about fairytales. My last poetry book, Oliver's fairytale is all about fairytales and fantasy and play. And then my new album, dreamland 11, 11 is all about the same thing, curiosity, dreamland.
Katie Chonacas
00:00:51
And so there's no one better to have a conversation with a youngian analyst. And I love Carl Young in his work. It's so prolific. And so Lisa with no further ado, thank you so much for joining me on she's all over the place.
Lisa Marchiano
00:01:03
Thank you so much for having me,
Katie Chonacas
00:01:04
My pleasure, my pleasure. And you have your own podcast. Tell everyone about your podcast.
Lisa Marchiano
00:01:09
Yes. So we have a podcast called this union life and our websites, this union life.com and yeah, me and two of my really good friends. We were in training together to become analysts, which is a really, it's a long process. So we were in training together for like, you know, seven, eight years. And we so enjoyed having that common endeavor. And then a few years ago, we, we kind of wanted a new creative project. And so I said, let's have a podcast. So we started it in 2018 and it's been going really well.
Katie Chonacas
00:01:41
Great. And then do you talk about motherhood, women issues young in psychology and fairytales and dreams on that podcast?
Lisa Marchiano
00:01:48
So, yes. So what we, the format is that we spend about 45 minutes talking about some topic. So we might pick a topic, like, I dunno,
Katie Chonacas
00:01:58
Dreams,
Lisa Marchiano
00:01:59
We've done it. We've done one on dreams. It's often more stuff like, oh, I don't know. We did an episode on over apologizing. Yeah. So we just talk about that from a union perspective and I love to bring in fairytales. So I always try to bring in a fairytale or, or a myth into our discussion if it fits and then the last 15 minutes or so we interpret a listeners dream so people can send in their dreams, the podcast we've received almost a thousand dreams since the podcast started, we do a dream every week. We just select one basically at random. And of course it's, you know, it's anonymous. So people just give us a little bit of background and then we talk about their dream on the air.
Katie Chonacas
00:02:41
So have you read my poetry book?
Lisa Marchiano
00:02:42
I have not.
Katie Chonacas
00:02:43
Okay. So we're going to gift you my poetry book and I think would be a really a good addition to this podcast. We can insert it later. I'm gonna have Melbourne sends you over the poetry book. There's 11 pieces, and I would love for you to analyze them and look them over and then maybe we can dissect them. And then, you know, you can just do an audio of them, of your interpretation, or we can jump back on and we can have a back and forth if you have questions for me. But I think that would be really cool for our listeners to not only understand who you are and your work, and then the depths of fairytales and dreams and young Ian aspects. But, you know, for my listeners who tune in more to get more in doubt of who I am and my spirit am I being great?
Katie Chonacas
00:03:30
Yeah. I just, I wish I would have thought about that prior to jumping on, but Hey, we're, we're Tim Ferriss style over here. We're just going to insert that later.
Lisa Marchiano
00:03:38
That's great.
Katie Chonacas
00:03:39
First for people who aren't familiar with Carl Young, let's discuss Carl Young. Who is he and how was he called and attuned to you?
Lisa Marchiano
00:03:49
Right. So Carl Young was a Swiss psychiatrist who was born in 1875. So he lived around the same time as Freud. And in fact, they were close collaborators for a little while. Freud was older, young for a time was considered to be his successor. They had a very tight friendship for a number of years, and then they had a falling out that was actually quite difficult for young and sort of sent him into a dark place for several years. But young recovered from that and really developed his own unique psychology. And some of the words that you might be familiar with that are connected with young would be archetypes, collective, unconscious, introversion, extroversion.
Lisa Marchiano
00:04:36
These are some of the ideas that he came up with. And one of the things that I love about young is that his psychology is much more focused on growth than illness. So it really considers that everyone is on their own path to healthy unfolding. And if there are symptoms, then it means something's gotten stuck somewhere or there's some problems somewhere, but it's not the case that it focuses on pathology or so much what's wrong with people. And it really focuses also on meaning young felt that a lack of meaning was one of the things that contributed to people feeling symptomatic, being depressed, being anxious.
Lisa Marchiano
00:05:25
He felt that it was important for people to have meaning in their lives. So a union analysis will often focus on that. And of course, dreams are a huge part of a union analysis. So Freud was famous for his book, the interpretation of dreams, young developed his own style of working with dreams that is still very influential today. And most union analysts work extensively with dreams.
Katie Chonacas
00:05:49
So how do we work with dreams?
Lisa Marchiano
00:05:51
Well, it is not easy. It is not easy to interpret dreams and it's especially difficult to interpret your own dreams in uni and way of working with dreams. We tend to assume most of the time that every element in the dream is an aspect of the dreamers psyche. And we assume that the dream is telling us something that we don't already know. We also make the assumption that the dream is a communication from the unconscious, and that there's an important perspective there, it's not that the dream is necessarily right, and the conscious attitude is wrong, but it's that the dream brings something we hadn't thought of before.
Lisa Marchiano
00:06:31
That might be important for us to consider.
Katie Chonacas
00:06:34
And what's the way someone can tune into those dreams. Do they wake up in the middle of the night? And they remember something great when they wake up in the morning. Like, I I've been told before, maybe to journal, write it down, or like, what do you do as a analyst? What do you tell people to do with their dreams?
Lisa Marchiano
00:06:49
Well, first of all, I should mention that this union life has a 12 month online program that teaches people how to work with their dreams and it's called dream school. And you can learn more about it at our website. But one of the first things we do is help people remember their dreams. So there's a whole module on remembering and recording your dreams, but you're absolutely right, that the first thing to try is get yourself a dream journal and put it by your bed with a pen. And when you wake up in the morning, simply write down whatever it is. You can remember, even if it's just a little snippet, a lot of times people minimize the importance of their dreams. So they'll say, well, you know, I'll ask concession if you've been dreaming recently and it's mostly, well, you know, not really, I mean, I had a dream last night, but it was nothing important.
Lisa Marchiano
00:07:35
And also tell me, and usually it's something fantastically insightful. So we all tend to be dismissive of our dreams, which I think is interesting.
Katie Chonacas
00:07:44
Yeah. I see people doing it all the time. They're like, oh, it doesn't matter. They just blow it off. It's like, no, that word or that word is so powerful. And like what you're saying, like actually means a lot, like the physical thing that you think doesn't matter. The thing that you're saying that doesn't matter. It actually has a lot of meaning. Words are very powerful. We just kind of have to be like, you know, and like, you know, it's like, they don't know, they don't know. And you just don't want to project things onto people. It has to be reciprocal, the person who has to want to be interested if they're tuning in right now, clearly, you know, they're interested in the topic because you know, they're here. So, so then it's reciprocated. Beautiful. And then do you want to dive in more about dreams or do you want to pivot into fairytales and how they go hand in hand?
Lisa Marchiano
00:08:26
Well, they are very similar in a way. And part of the reason that we study fairytales and training to become a union analyst is when you know, lots of fairytales and you're good at working with them at helps you interpret dreams. And that's partly because they come from the same place. They are both expressions of the unconscious. So you might say, well, how is that? When fairytales are told by a person they're not dreams, but they sort of well up from the unconscious of different storytellers through the ages, and they've kind of been refined, but they're a kind of product of the unconscious. They're not, you know, these literary inventions, the way a novel is not that novels can't contain lots of psychological wisdom.
Lisa Marchiano
00:09:09
They certainly can, but fairy tales and myths are a little different. There are what we consider to be archetypal material. And so they do very much go together, fairytales and dreams in a union analysis, we might use fairy tales because very tails do contain all of this immense psychological wisdom.
Katie Chonacas
00:09:30
And so, you know, people who are into fairytales and like you said, there's archetypes and you know, they're in this whimsical fantasy state. And then some people, you know, let's say the three-dimensional world where it's just very lake face value where people are, are, you know, the kind of person who may judge another person who may be so into fairytales are so into those kinds of things. And then they judge, what does it say about that kind of person, like where they are in their psyche?
Lisa Marchiano
00:09:58
What does it say about people who judge?
Katie Chonacas
00:10:00
Yeah,
Lisa Marchiano
00:10:00
Well, I think that we can all be defended against what comes up from the unconscious. So just like I was saying, it's so common for people to be dismissive of their dreams. That's because our conscious mind naturally wants to think it has all the answers and that anything that comes from the unconscious is a little weird or it's a little silly and, you know, shouldn't be taken too seriously and the same thing can be true with fairytales. So I think it just, it isn't a type of person. I think all of us can have a tendency to be dismissive of what comes to us from the unconscious. Now some of us are more defended against it than others, but that impulse exists in all of us to want to bat away what comes up.
Katie Chonacas
00:10:48
Beautiful. Beautiful. And then, so how long have you been working with Carl Young and the Institute?
Lisa Marchiano
00:10:55
Well, I started studying to become an analyst in 2003, and I've been an certified analyst since 2011, so, so a long time.
Katie Chonacas
00:11:09
Great, beautiful. And then how does motherhood correlate with, you know, your practice and what you've learned along the way?
Lisa Marchiano
00:11:16
Well, I was in training to be an analyst shortly after my first child was born. I started training. So to become a union analyst, you have to already be a licensed mental health practitioner. So that's where the LCSW comes in. So you're, you're already a therapist and then you're going to go back and you're going to get this additional layer of training. And that typically takes many, many years. So it took me, I think, about eight years to complete training. And I had just started after my daughter was born and then my son was born shortly thereafter. So my, my kids were little when I started training and I was mothering and training at the same time.
Lisa Marchiano
00:11:57
And what happened was one day when my daughter was about two and a half and my son was about six months old. It was one of those really hard days where it was like eight o'clock in the morning. And it had already been a really long day because the kids had woken up at like four 30 and I had nothing planned and, you know, just sort of like, oh my God, how am I going to keep these little monsters busy for the next 12 hours until bedtime? You know, just those days were so hard. So it was December, but I was like, you know what, I'm just going to put them in the stroller and just walk around the block just to get out of the house, something to do. So I'm pushing the stroller along and it's bitterly cold out in the strollers, getting stuck on tree roots and the sidewalks all broken up and I can't barely move.
Lisa Marchiano
00:12:39
And I had the spot, I just said, cut everything about being a mother is so hard. And then the very next thought popped up in my mind and it surprised me. And that thought was yes, and I'm learning so much as a result. And that really kind of gripped me. So one of Young's big ideas is this notion of individuation by which he meant he had a very specific meaning of it. He meant the process by which one becomes the fullest version of him or herself. So it's a kind of lifetime work to individually, you know, you're never really done, but it has to do with making as much that was unconscious conscious, learning as much as possible about yourself.
Lisa Marchiano
00:13:27
It's, it's about becoming the holistic version of yourself possible. So I thought, wow, okay. So motherhood is an individuation opportunity. And I thought that is just a fantastically exciting idea. So when the kids went down for a nap later, I got online and I was like trying to find that book who wrote that book. And it turns out no one had written that book. So I was just gripped by that idea. I kept on thinking about it. I started running workshops for mothers. I eventually wrote my thesis in analytic training on that topic. And then after I finished analytic training, I, I knew I still had more to say about that. And, and so I turned it into a book and it was published last may, may of 2021, by sounds true.
Lisa Marchiano
00:14:15
And it is called motherhood facing and finding yourself.
Katie Chonacas
00:14:19
Congratulations. I love sound true. So cool. Yeah. Yeah. Beautiful. Beautiful. And then where can people find the book?
Lisa Marchiano
00:14:28
It is wherever books are sold, you can get it from sounds true. You can get it from Amazon. You can find purchase links at my author site, which is Lisa marciano.com.
Katie Chonacas
00:14:40
No, we'll put everything in the show notes, definitely for sure. Thank you for sharing that. Congratulations on your book, how neat thank you for extending and knowing that there wasn't something out there and that you had more to say and saying it, and it's going to be a collective ripple effect for us, you know, the divine femininity to show up and speak more, which is so empowering and important, and exactly why we're here today with each other, showing up, you know, for ourselves, for each other. And you know, for the person tuning in specifically for you, I have a question about motherhood when, and you have two children right now, then. Okay. So do you like check in with them? Like, oh, did you have dreams or how do you, what's the playful relationship back and forth with incorporating the young in practice with your children in dreams and play?
Lisa Marchiano
00:15:27
Well? So my kids now are 17 and 19 and they do sometimes tell me their dreams, but they're also at that age when they really want privacy and they don't want me knowing too much about their deepest secrets. So my son came in the other day and was very excited to tell me that he had had a dream that accurately predicted the score in a football game. But other than that, I don't hear much about their dreams. I mean, when they were growing up, I used to love to read fairy tales to them. We did that a lot and they would sometimes tell me their dreams too. But now that they're a little bit older, they're, they're little, they're kind of,
Katie Chonacas
00:16:06
I know, I know it's, it's, it's like maybe difficult to, you know, take a deep breath and just think about, you know, maybe one 17, okay. When they were five or six when they were, you know, cause I'm, I think it's Dr. Bruce Lipton talks about how everything's a hypnosis until our brain starts to develop around seven or eight. Everything's a really ended up gnosis based on, you know, them seeing what the parents are doing, what the circumstances are, but when the brain actually starts to develop, what was the communication like? Do you remember checking in with them when they were like 7, 8, 9, 10, like maybe from like seven to 14 or something like around live, would you ask them their dreams and re able to get insightful information based on your relationship with them?
Katie Chonacas
00:16:46
Did you incorporate that or leave it separate for just the work practice?
Lisa Marchiano
00:16:50
Well, I mean, I, I don't know that I sort of queried them about their dreams very often, but they would frequently tell me, I can remember some of their dreams because some of their dreams were very moving and important to them. And they told me them, you know, and they were emotionally moved by them. I can remember, but both of them, both of them had such dreams that they told me. I still remember them very clearly. And, and yeah, it did give me a little insight into their psyches. So, so that was, that was, yeah.
Katie Chonacas
00:17:20
Yeah. So kind of, I guess, fresh in the moment of now when you have a private practice and you're with people, what's maybe a question or two where we can role play here and I can be the students and maybe we'd be meeting for the first time and let's role play, how that would look. And maybe a question you would ask to me and to have us go on a discovery journey together
Lisa Marchiano
00:17:43
As if you were coming into analysis.
Katie Chonacas
00:17:44
Exactly. We'll just be raw and real and vulnerable for the listeners here.
Lisa Marchiano
00:17:49
Sure. So I, what I usually say is welcome, where would you like to start?
Katie Chonacas
00:17:55
Oh, that's a good question. Okay. So maybe I'm here today. Hi, thank you. And I'm here today because I just have this feeling that keeps coming up and I identify with Marc Jacobs because I read on his Instagram not so long ago, he'll wake up, just so numb and so frozen and paralyzed. And he's married now to this guy named shard. He used to be my agent's roommate, they're best friends. And so that's how I kind of got into the brainchild of, you know, him and Mark Jacobs. But I remember the brushstroke of Mark Jacobs saying, you know, Marc Jacobs is Mark Jacobs. He has his empire. Like he has endless money, you know, private jets, everything, luxurious fashion, like friends, like Mary now has a love of his life.
Katie Chonacas
00:18:42
Like he has a community. And so he's Marc Jacobs, right? So someone like that, but then he's waking sometimes having this feeling inside that says this feeling and feeling, you know, paralyzed inside. And, and then he has his partner to kind of remind him, you know, like he's loved and kind of sues them to get past that thing. And I feel like a lot of people from what I've heard get numb and paralyzed, and I know sometimes I'll wake up and I'll be scared when I wake up. I'll be scared. Sometimes what I do is for my practice is I'll just be with my thoughts. And I'll like, I'll sit to a lie there to see if dreams come up and I'll lie there to feel out what I'm feeling and then pray with God and, and, and get myself through the muck.
Katie Chonacas
00:19:32
And then, so I can get to the bliss of my day and then go on my journey. So, yeah. So I'm kind of here right now, seeing you for the first time, because those things keep coming up and I'm navigating my self through it. And maybe in a, you know, and I'm proud that I've gotten this far. And so hopefully that helps the listener listening to be able to, you know, understand you have to get to that place. Right. But when you have done the work, you, I have read, you know, some of youngin's books on dreams. And I was with a young youth therapist for four years, you know, she was great that I got through the young Yan Institute. So anyone who wants a young in therapist can definitely check out Lisa, and then also check out the, the young Yan Institute.
Katie Chonacas
00:20:15
It's a special, beautiful way to do talk therapy. So, and I, and I've done so much other work, so, and it keeps coming up. And so I don't know, where can we start from here? What, what can I do?
Lisa Marchiano
00:20:26
Well, I mean, the interesting thing is that, you know, it's not uncommon for people to come in with that being one of their complaints that they wake up feeling anxious by the way. And when that happens all really want to sink into. So tell me exactly how that feels
Katie Chonacas
00:20:44
And yeah, we're going to go to a feeling state. Okay. So, which is worry, because the question that comes is what if I'm not doing it right? Like, what am I doing? So it's like questioning myself, what am I doing? What if I'm not doing it right? Like, it's a journey. I'm just showing up, I'm doing it. It's going to happen. I have the faith that's going to happen. I have that hope it's going to happen. But this rush comes from my gut that rushes up of this worry or anxiety that maybe I'm not taking the right steps. Maybe I'm not making the right choices being at my ultimate higher self. Like, how are you supposed to know? Or not know. Right. And so we check in with the body and this rush of worry comes up first, but then I talk myself to trust it. And then I go out and I have a very successful day and I do it.
Katie Chonacas
00:21:26
And then I go through my day, but then I go to sleep in it and it happens all over again.
Lisa Marchiano
00:21:31
Yeah. And I would, again, really sit with a person and, okay. So giving you an example, like when did this last happen that you can remember? Okay. Yeah.
Katie Chonacas
00:21:42
So I went to a red carpet event. I was on the red carpet. I was with all these influencers, all these upcoming artists, like for my craft, for my actor to show up, to be back on TV and in film, you know, I'm auditioning and I'm doing everything I'm doing and it's a lot. And then, I mean, I didn't drink any alcohol at all. You know, I'm not a drinker. So I didn't, you know, wake up feeling like, oh, I just partied my life away. I didn't, you know, I didn't even stay out late. So it's like, that's what I'm wondering. It's like, how am I feeling this way? When it was like a good thing that I was doing, it felt good. I had fun, but I'm having this feeling inside of disgust. I'm having this feeling inside of, you know, not what are you doing, but yeah, maybe, maybe it's, maybe it's a little, let's just start there actually.
Lisa Marchiano
00:22:26
Yeah. So I would want to just know more about all of that and really just trying to get up underneath it. And, and especially down to, you know, to like real specificity about what maybe was happening earlier in the day before you were, you were feeling that or what happened the day before, or if it was, if it came up in the morning, did you remember any dreams? Do you, do you remember dreaming what's going on today that might be happening that maybe you're anticipating? So part of what I'm looking for is patterns, you know, oh, okay. This tends to happen. When you know that you're going to be talking to your mother-in-law later that day or something.
Lisa Marchiano
00:23:08
I mean, I'm making it up, right. But we're, we're looking for patterns and that's why it takes a little while because those, those don't always emerge right away. I will also say that one of the reasons why people sometimes wake up anxious is because there's often an increase in cortisol or stress hormones upon awakening, or maybe it's cortisol, or maybe it's, you know what, I can't remember which hormone it is, but one of them,
Katie Chonacas
00:23:29
So it releases for stress right into the gut. Definitely.
Lisa Marchiano
00:23:33
So it's either adrenaline or cortisol that kind of goes up in the morning as we're waking up. It's just a kind of natural biologic thing. And I think some of us, our bodies kind of interpret that as fear. And the truth is it is what it is. It's not like the fear goes away because you know that, but maybe it just helps you. I mean, it sounds like what you've done with it is you've moved into this really lovely place of sort of acceptance of it. You can just be with it. You don't try to make it go away. You just say, okay, here it is. It's visiting me. Does it want anything of me? There's this wonderful poem by Rumi called the guest house. And you know that the, I can't recite the whole poem, but it's basically like, you know, your life has a guest house.
Lisa Marchiano
00:24:16
Your, your psyche is a guest house and who's going to come visit. Is it going to be rage is going to be boredom. Is it going to be fear, welcome them all in. And I just love that. And I think it's so much the spirit of analysis, because we don't want to try to avoid negative feelings because that just intensifies the negative experience. We actually want to say, okay, here you are now, is there something that you need to teach me? Is there something I need to know from you? And it sounds like that's what you do when this fear comes up in the morning, you just sit with it and you watch it. And you, you know, and you reconnect with other things. You don't let it kind of spin off until it kind of has a life of its own, but you, you, you sit with it and you welcome it and then you can move through
Katie Chonacas
00:24:59
It. And
Lisa Marchiano
00:25:01
Yeah, I was going to say, it would be nice if it weren't there, but, but it is, and you can live with it.
Katie Chonacas
00:25:08
Totally. And, and I know we're not going to dissecting get to it all right now, because, you know, we could be here for years or, you know, for, for a couple of sessions or months or things, but Gabor, Montay, you know, he talks about the wisdom of trauma and he really demystifies and how we're all victimized and traumatized. So when you talk about going to the psyche and how, you know, it takes some work to get to it also, you know, this, the deep rooted patterns as you were mentioning from, you know, our, our childhood and, you know, understanding those patterns. And my girlfriend, she went to this place called Meadows and it's like $65,000. And they do that. And it's this program and you're there every single day and you're working it and it's work and it's work and you're showing up and it's like a lot of money to go there.
Katie Chonacas
00:25:52
And, you know, a lot of people won't have the money to go there or the privilege to go there. So it's like, you know, this is a podcast and people show up for free and they can get your book and they can tune into, you know, sounds true, which has, you know, an amazing platform. I respect them 1000%. And I meet you here for the listener as a bridge, because it took a lot of work for me to get to that place where you said, oh, you sit there and you invite it in. And as a fellow poet, I love Rumi. And I'm going to definitely read that poem. And, but all the language and the words you were saying, it was like, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And then I show up here because you know, being vulnerable in this way, you know, because I want the listener to be like, if you haven't gone through the journey that I've gone through, which I have, and we're all on different journeys here, but if they're not taking the stance and done what I've shared that I have, you know, or the people who are at a place where they are inviting it in.
Katie Chonacas
00:26:46
Right. So there's, we're all at different stages in learning processes. So there's no judging. It's just like whatever inspires and works and we can connect more, learn more, do more research and, and, you know, keep the ball rolling. So thank you for, you know, going on that journey with me. I appreciate you.
Lisa Marchiano
00:27:06
Yeah, no, that sounds like you've really done some lovely work around that. And, and, you know, it's hard, it's hard. I know people that really struggle with that exact issue and, and haven't come to the peace that you've made with it, you know, in spite of working pretty hard at it. So it's well done on your part.
Katie Chonacas
00:27:23
Yeah. Thank you. Thank you very much. I appreciate you. So let's talk about motherhood more so I'm, I'm not a mother yet, and I aspire to be a mother soon. There might be, you know, moms tuning in right now, but what are some words of aspirations you would say for the divine femininity to women out there who, any books or wisdoms that you learned along your way, that you would want people to know to make a greater impact for their lives on a personal or work level?
Lisa Marchiano
00:27:56
Well, one of the things that I want to say about my book is that I was really interested in the mother's experience of mothering. So most books about parenthood or mothering are about how to be a better mother, how to handle discipline, or how to raise creative kids or whatever. My book is really about the mother's experience. It's not that it's not a really wonderful thing to do, to try to be the best mother possible. But I was really curious about what was happening to me psychologically in my experience, and in terms of words of wisdom that I want to share. I don't, I don't know that I really, I don't, I don't consider myself to have the answers, but I will say this.
Lisa Marchiano
00:28:39
One of the wonderful things about a youngian approach is that young, a lot, like roomy encourages us to welcome all parts of ourselves. And that is such a powerfully, important attitude to hold when we're mothering, because mothering tends to bring up a lot of feelings of guilt or inadequacy. We never feel like we're doing a good enough job. We always feel like we're compromising. We always worry we're doing it wrong. And so being able to be with all parts of ourselves, being able to feel self acceptance and self compassion, even when we're struggling is really helpful.
Lisa Marchiano
00:29:19
And that's what one of the things I wanted to get across in my book. So in my book, I use fairytales myths dreams, and sometimes film to talk about these different themes of things that we face when we're mothering. And it's appropriate for people who have just had children it's appropriate for new mothers, but it also details things happened to us throughout the motherhood experience. And so even if your kids are leaving home for college or adults, there's wisdom in my book for all of those situations,
Katie Chonacas
00:29:50
Beautiful, beautiful tune into the book, super excited to read your book. That's amazing. So let's talk about some women's issues, which one, like maybe like select one, cause there's, I guess there could be so many, but where's one that you would like to like talk about an add value to the person tuning in.
Lisa Marchiano
00:30:09
I'm very interested in how women come to find and claim their own authority. Some women come to this very easily. I know women like this, they get to adulthood and they're just really good at being in charge. They feel confident this isn't a fraught area for them, but I think they're probably in the minority judging from my own experience and the experience of my friends and most of my clients that I say it can be hard to know what, you know, it can be hard to assert what, you know, it can be hard to disappoint other people because there's a difficult decision that needs to be made.
Lisa Marchiano
00:30:50
And I think that this can be part of a woman's growth over the course of her lifetime. In fact, I think motherhood is one of the things that can help us grow and step into our authority. And I do discuss that in the book, but of course that's not the only way in order to do that. We have to claim what young described as the shadow, those parts of ourselves that we learned were inappropriate or unwelcome. So that might be greed or anger or sexuality. These are things that we might have to develop a conscious relationship with before we can be fully powerful and have all of our agency
Katie Chonacas
00:31:32
And earning money. There's like guilt around that. Right. So what I heard, I mean, when I was a kid, I chose to have a career over a children. I knew I was going to have children later on in life, but it was very much, that was my choice. And I was going to do it with this authority as a child. It's so wild because what you were mentioning when I was a child, I had all this authority and some people who meet me, they just think, oh, you have like, I guess they wouldn't say the word authority, but it's just like, you're just a go getter. Like I'm a straight shooter, but in some areas of my life, actually, I feel like when I was younger, I had this like confidence in this like direct target. But I feel like, you know, on the journey of life, I definitely feel, you know, wavered in some of those areas too, where it's like, wait a minute.
Katie Chonacas
00:32:13
I thought I knew, I thought I had it. But now like now that like some years have passed, I feel like, wait a minute. I thought I would be more ahead of the game by now. And then that's where like the confusion comes where it's like, I thought I was like on top of it, but it seems I'm not compared to others, which is a death threat comparing to another person because we don't know their circumstances and everything may look good on Instagram or paper, but their mommy and daddy are fueling their careers or, you know, someone else's fueling like what they're doing and they're not actually purchasing it themselves. You know? So there's that stigma that comes into play where that's why it's important to have the communication because we really don't know. And everybody's, situation's different and there's no place to judge because everyone has privileges and everyone has gifts.
Katie Chonacas
00:32:59
We all do like the basic bottom gift is that we're here on the planet and that we're breathing, which is the number one gift. Most of all.
Lisa Marchiano
00:33:08
Absolutely.
Katie Chonacas
00:33:09
Yeah. Cool. Yeah. Anything else you want to share on youngian Institute? The analysis of the young human ways?
Lisa Marchiano
00:33:20
Well, I just encouraged people to check out this young in life checkout dream [email protected] and take a look at my author website, at least in marciano.com.
Katie Chonacas
00:33:32
Great. So those are all the ways people can get in contact with you.
Lisa Marchiano
00:33:35
And I'm also on Instagram and Twitter to Lisa Marciano.
Katie Chonacas
00:33:40
Fabulous. Congratulations on your new book. I'm so excited that you said yes to show up, to share this valuable information, these nuggets, and keep the conversation going and keeping the spirit of Carl Young, alive and wow.
Lisa Marchiano
00:33:55
Yes. Yes.
Katie Chonacas
00:33:56
Great. 1000%. Cool. Thank you, Lisa.
Lisa Marchiano
00:33:59
Thank you, Katie so much.
Katie Chonacas
00:34:01
My pleasure. Thank you everyone for tuning in, make sure that you're following me on all social media accounts. Check out my Patrion support and we'll see you next week on she's all over the place. Take care. Thank you so much for joining us. We'll see you next time over and out.
Check out the She’s All Over The Place Podcast! https://www.chonacas.com/podcast/
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